Even more than being about music or networking or tech or panels, South by Southwest seems to be about making a quick buck. National companies take over bars, the streets are littered with flyers; hell, last year, even our homeless folks were used as Wi-Fi hotspots. This train has a momentum all its own, and if you can’t beat ‘em, you might as well join ‘em.
Here’s a roundup of some of the job opportunities – the good, the bad and the ugly – for locals during SXSW 2013.
Be a taxi for drunk people.SideCar is willing to pay you $20 an hour to listen to people talk on their cell phones from the backseat of your car, as long as you have a valid driver’s license and a four-door vehicle made after 2000. They call this a “networking opportunity.” I call it a test of patience. Be a brand ambassador. "Brand ambassador" is a fancy word for “shot girl” or “dude who shoves flyers into people’s hands” and if that’s your lifelong dream, there are opportunities galore for you during SXSW. Some of these jobs actually pay decently (I saw one for $15 an hour). However, most of them request a full-body picture and some ask for body measurements, which makes me cringe and think of Hooters. Do you think they pay extra for every time your ass gets pinched over the course of a day? Here’s one that wants a street team to give people colored bracelets based on their relationship status – “Red means ‘stop - I'm taken,’ while green means ‘go - ask me out’” – and then take photos of them wearing the bracelets. I wonder what that photo database will be used for.
Be a model. If you’re the type that flaunts what you gots, there are plenty of opportunities for you as well. You can be a body paint model, which should prepare you well for Burning Man this summer. Here’s one looking for models for promotional flyer shoots, which will help prepare you to be the face of depression on the side of buses. Or, you can model clothes for this gig, where you’ll be paid in swag. Here’s one where they’re looking for that “trailer trash” model, one able to channel a déclassé broad who sips Miller High Life.
Be a writer. When I went to journalism school, back in the good ol' days when people got their news from news people and not from Facebook, taking an unpaid internship was unheard of. Of course, that was before papers (printed on paper!) across the country really started crumbling as online media assumed the throne. Now, with the economy still trying to climb out of the dumps and more aspiring writers than paying gigs, students take what they can get. Luckily, if you’re interested in honing your music-writing skills to one day write indecipherable album reviews for Pitchfork, a variety of publications like The Deli are looking for interns and guest bloggers during SXSW.
Work in a trailer. If you have experience working in kitchens or front-of-house in restaurants, working in a trailer downtown during SXSW is one way to drum up some money.Of course, the quarters are tight, the trailers are hot, and you might spend a lot of time hunting down table sign No. 13, which wound up in the customer’s pocket rather than on the table, where you could actually see it to bring him his food. Sheesh. Trailer positions range from order-takers and food-runners to cooking positions.
Be a … ummm…. For the really open-minded Austinite, there are a variety of postings for "personal assistants" that might be open to doing some work on the side. This one is looking for a “sexy, attractive, open minded personal assistant model to help with just about everything.” The job includes some “light” fashion modeling from a home in an “upscale neighborhood.” I wonder exactly what kind of modeling this includes. This one is looking for a “non shy flirty” model; just provide pictures and a cell phone number, and they’ll text you about the job. Because texting about a job interview is totally not a shady thing. Another ad for not shy people describes the position as a “kissing model.” They want full red lips and will pay $50 an hour to take pictures of you kissing, and in case the job isn’t clear, the ad specifies, in all capital letters, no less: “THIS IS NOT ARTISTIC SHOOTING.”